crispy salty things

After 2 whole work days off and 2 whole weekend days off(minus 1 hr for bloody daylight savings time), people are asking me- "What did you do on your time off?" My answer is this: "I ate lots of crispy salty things." I feel I could actually live on such foods exclusively if need be. The only problem I have discovered is this: The metabolic end-product of crispy salty things is not energy, as one would expect from normal food products. Noooo. The crispy salty food's metabolic pathway leads to the psyche's manufacture of guilt, shame and depression. They should really put this on the nutrition labels.