the thing that totally ruined my labor day

Have any of y'all ever stopped to ponder what it would be like if a crazy man ran into your house through your unlocked front door while you were home? And what if the crazy man announced that there had just been a murder in your neighborhood? I, my son, and his girlfriend were faced with this scenario at 5:30pm on MY SPECIAL HOLIDAY - Labor Day. The day when I was supposed to be patting myself on the back for being such a good little worker bee, I was instead faced with a crazy man in my house.

Of course, when a stranger runs into your house and tells you that he's running from the people who just murdered someone two blocks away, you tend to err on the side of caution and believe it.

At first.

Of course, I immediately dialed 911 after the crazy man ran inside my house at 5:30 Monday afternoon. Not having any real information for the nice operator myself, she asked to speak to the crazy man. He was pacing around my living room, peering out my windows and telling us that "they're out there, they're after me." I said "SIR, THE 911 OPERATOR NEEDS TO SPEAK TO YOU NOW" and handed him the phone. Now, at this point I believe I heard a "beep" as a button was pushed on the phone, but I can't be sure about that; nevertheless we watched, horrified, as he told the operator the story of a shooting up the street from us and how "they" chased him because he witnessed the murder. Imagine the scenarios that flood one's brain at a time like this: That the insane killers will break into your home and kill yourself and your loved ones; that the crazy man is the actual killer and he's about to kill you and your loved ones; that the crazy man is actually casing your home for a future robbery and future murders... None of these scenarios generate happy thoughts, you seen what I'm sayin'???

At this point in time, I was beginning to form a plan in my mind that did not involve protecting the crazy man, who I suspected wasn't what he appeared to be. I pulled my son and his girfriend into the back laundry room and shut the door, planning to exit out the back door. It just didn't seem logical to me that the police weren't coming yet. But then the crazy man pushed his way into the laundry room with us. Still speaking into the phone, he was hurridly telling the operator that the people who were chasing him were wearing camoflauge clothing with fiber optics embedded in them which made them "invisible" - "So you won't be able to see them, do you see what I'm sayin'? YOU CAN'T SEE THEM!"

I then realized 2 things simultaneously: 1) The man was definitely drunk (in such close quarters I could smell him), and 2) The man was hallucinating.

I spoke to him loudly and forcefully, saying "SIR. HAND ME THE PHONE NOW." I have to say, he was very compliant and obeyed the orders I gave him - SIT DOWN HERE, COME BACK HERE, HAND ME THE PHONE. I took the phone and started to speak to the 911 operator myself, but quickly realized that THE PHONE WAS DEAD. HE HAD BEEN TALKING INTO A DEAD PHONE. I think he had probably disconnected the connection just as soon as I handed the phone to him originally, which is probably what the "beep" was that I remember hearing. At that point I began to be terrified.

I quickly reestablished contact with the 911 operator and again gave her my address and told her there was a man in my house claiming to have witnessed a murder. The 911 operator then told me that she was redirecting the police to my house immediately, that there had NOT been a murder, and that the crazy man's mother had been assaulted instead. I told her to "GET THE POLICE HERE NOW AND GET THIS MAN OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW." At this point, the crazy man had gone upstairs and was roaming around in the bedrooms.

Then, all of a sudden, the Liberty police were at my house. They showed up in five separate squad cars and entered my home with guns drawn. I pulled the kids into the study with me, out of the way, and watched around the corner as they arrested the crazy man for domestic violence. They took him away and put him in jail, which by the way, is only about a quarter of a mile from my house. Wow, I sure feel good about THAT. I LOVE living in downtown Liberty!!! The nice police lady took our statements and again assured me that the bad man was being taken to jail. I began to cry. My son hugged me. My son's girlfriend hugged me. Neighbors came over and hugged me. I found out the crazy man had tried to get into Rhett's house first, but his two Nazi dogs scared the bad man off. Rhett was distraught when he found out the guy was in MY house the whole time he was out "looking for the SOB who scared the shit" out of his wife. "Karen, I swear to God, if I had known he was in your house, I would have fuckin' killed him myself. Next time, you call me, you hear??" This is the kind of neighborliness that money can't buy.

Here's the irony of this whole situation: I have an alarm system in my home, which is monitored by ADT. Unlike some people with alarm systems, I actually USE mine. Plus, I ALWAYS lock my doors when I'm home alone. My son just happened to be standing next to the front door and was reaching out to open it so he could leave, when this man came bursting in. In other words, I do everything I'm supposed to do; yet the circumstances of this situation were quirky enough that they allowed a stranger to enter my home. Go figure.

Be safe, everyone.